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Husband and Wife jokes

Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?

Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Häy... 

  2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?

  3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

  4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziadaaqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai! 

  5) Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga. 

  6) An old man married a young Girl, Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam. 

  7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;

After marriage: It is self-defense 

  8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?

  9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

  11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ?? 
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ?? 
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De. 

  12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur

Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

  13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes! 
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!! 

  14) What’s the diff between Dava Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi. 

  15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

  16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya, Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.